Who I Want To Be

 

Cw: alludes to body image issues




Who I Want to Be


I want to be the kind of person

That writes poetry everyday


But I'm not.


I'm the kind of person

That watches my bank account

Teater on the edge of 0.

That hates my body

While knowing I shouldn't hate my body

That struggles to justify buying something I need

But spends all my money in one weekend

That spends all my creativity at work

And leaves none for myself


Living with perfectionism

Is like following the shadow

Of who you could be

And judging every moment 

Of each day as if it is

Already a failure




I long for the day

When each minute

Is cherished as a miracle

And each breath

Is seen as a gift

Every ounce of food

savored as survival


I want to believe my art

Has power

No matter how often I write

No matter how polished it is

No matter the impossible scale

My brain rushes to measure it against


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